It is important to align yourself with what I call OQP, Only Quality People. You should endeavor to surround yourself only with people who will enrich and empower you, people who will enable you to transcend yourself and to grow. This sort of support group, your pit crew for progress in your life, can strengthen you in moments of weakness and bring you up when you are down.
Surround yourself with people who share your vision and who also are willing to support you in pursuing that vision. You cannot make it alone in this journey. If you find relationships that are not mutually constructive, if someone brings you down rather than challenges and elevates you, then you must make a decision. Can you transform this into a healthy relationship or do you need to sever it?
That does not mean of course that all of the people around you should be your yes-men. You will never grow if you are surrounded by backslapping sycophants. Although I hate being criticized by friends, I do have some trusted critics. These are people who tell me the things I need to hear. I trust their judgment, I trust their vision of me. They challenge me and make me stretch mentally and intellectually, personally and spiritually.
I get feedback from them that I would not get anywhere else and even though it doesn't always feel good to hear their criticisms and challenges, I know they care about me and about my growth. So I listen and learn.
We all need someone to coach us now and then. We cannot grow in a vacuum. We have to be willing to seek out those with wisdom and say, "I don't know what to do; help me." The fighter and philosopher, "Smokin' Joe" Frazier, said, "All of us are like the blind man at some point in our lives, standing on the corner, waiting for someone to lead us across."
That does not mean of course that all of the people around you should be your yes-men. You will never grow if you are surrounded by backslapping sycophants. Although I hate being criticized by friends, I do have some trusted critics. These are people who tell me the things I need to hear. I trust their judgment, I trust their vision of me. They challenge me and make me stretch mentally and intellectually, personally and spiritually.
I get feedback from them that I would not get anywhere else and even though it doesn't always feel good to hear their criticisms and challenges, I know they care about me and about my growth. So I listen and learn.
We all need someone to coach us now and then. We cannot grow in a vacuum. We have to be willing to seek out those with wisdom and say, "I don't know what to do; help me." The fighter and philosopher, "Smokin' Joe" Frazier, said, "All of us are like the blind man at some point in our lives, standing on the corner, waiting for someone to lead us across."
You are not joined at the hip with your friends. Be prepared to acknowledge when a relationship has soured and to go your separate way. It does not have to be an angry parting. Just say, "Look here, we are growing in different directions. Our values have changed. Our goals and objectives are different now. Maybe we need to shake hands and say good-bye." Being able to break away from toxic friend- ships can make the difference between living your dreams or living a nightmare.
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